The independent London newspaper

And another thing!

22 May, 2020

THREE-WORD platitudes:
Get back control.
Bring back sovereignty.
Get Brexit done.
Declaration of intent.
Await sunlit uplands.
Unity is strength.
Level up society.
Reform Whitehall bureaucracy.
Tory fiscal discipline.
Strength through joy.
Get flooding done.
Send coronavirus packing.
Manage infectious peaks.
Hospital patient overflow.
Not enough ventilators.
Confused government thinking.
Global pandemic rules.
Save the NHS.
Stay at home.
Get Vitamin D.
Cover our backs.
Stay locked down.
We’ve given up.
We don’t govern.
We write slogans.
We blame you.
So stay alert.
Wash your hands.
Keep social distancing.
And invoke heroism.
More creative accounting.
Waffle and bluster.
Labour isn’t working.
Keep buggering on.
We’ll meet again.
No plane crashes.
Shoplifting levels down.
Football hooliganism nil.
Witch-burning eliminated.
The invisible mugger.
Wrestling the virus.
Coughing and spluttering .
The Cobra shirker.
Non-essential OAPs.
A diversionary tactic.
A branding specialist.
Deter irresponsible sitting.
Daily helicopter checks.
Cops roaming parks.
Turning the tide.
Civil rights curbed.
Spaffing the economy.
Inevitable public inquiry.
Result in 2024.

St George’s Fields, W2


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